Now y’all oughta know by now, I ain’t no snitch, and I ain’t no tattletale, no sir! Shady always tells on me, and its generally a lie, or some little something he caught me doing that he decides that I needed to get in trouble about. Sometimes I think he is wired backwards, straight out of heaven. But I do love him. This time I got to tell on HIM! I thought I had him right in my sights, but I was wrong.

I was out back picking up sticks and Shady was supposed to be helping me. He always does for a few minutes, but ends up doing something totally off task and he just wanders off and lets me work alone. Now I really do not mind, but sometimes it gets to be aggravating. I just let him do his thing, and I work on by myself.

I walked around after I finished picking up sticks for about an hour, and right there just above the pond on the ridge, I caught Shady doing something really strange. He didn’t know I was watching, but this is what he was doing. He had some army men of his on the ground in a place where there was nothing but dirt. He was making a bunch of sputtering and popping sounds with his mouth, and he had Mamaw’s watering can pouring it on them.

I went over to where he was and asked, “What are you playing? By the way you know you are supposed to be helping me pick up sticks?” Shady ignored the picking up sticks part, and told me, “I am playing the LORD!” I told him, “Do what? You mean like God? In Heaven?” He said matter-of-factly, “Yep!”

I made him explain, and he told me, “My army men are in battle praying for rain, and I just answered it. I am a thunderstorm, and they were pinned down so the thunderstorm just saved them! Whooo, pow pow I am the LORD and thunderstorming my army men!” I frowned and got onto him, “Now you know you ain’t supposed to be blasphemous like that Shady! That ain’t right to be doing, and I think you ought to not do that!”

He whined and replied, “Pete! I can do anything I want! I can play like I am the LORD and you ain’t gonna stop me, because you ain’t the boss of me! I can play like I am who ever I want to be, and right now I am the LORD! Mamaw says we are supposed to be like the LORD, so you just shut up and let me alone!”

Now for some reason that just didn’t set well with me. So I just left him playing, and I was kind of mad, so I went straight in the house to tell Mamaw. She took one look at me when I got inside and asked, “Peter Hegelund, what is going on with you son? Tell Mamaw.” I replied, “Mamaw, you know I ain’t no tattle tale, but I just got to tell you this one about what Shady is doing!”

“Go on boy, tell me what he is doing.” After she answered, I lit right into it, “Mamaw, you told us to pick up sticks, and Shady always does this when you give us work. He always works a few minutes and just goes off to play, leaving me to finish ALL the work by myself. I never told you that, because I didn’t want you worrying and thinking I was a blabber mouth!” Mamaw replied, “Yes I know he does that all the time Peter, don’t think Mamaw don’t know what’s going on.”

I was kind of hoping she was ready to go spank him or something, since I was tired of him always, and I mean always getting me into trouble. “Mamaw, he is out there blasphemin’ playing with his army men. He had them out there, and had your water can pouring water on them, saying that his army men were praying for rain, and he was being the LORD, and answering their prayer, making it rain for them! That didn’t set too well with me, and that is the only reason I came in and told you!”

There, I thought, finally I can get HIM into trouble for once, because Mamaw doesn’t like anyone being blasphemous, or treating God like he is a casual thing. But Mamaw surprised me this time, “Pete, I know it doesn’t seem right for Shady to be doing that, but he is a little one, littler than you are Praise God. I don’t mind him playing like that at all, some kids his age play with all them demonic toys and such, and at least he is pretending to be a little creator, like our Precious Lord is.”

Mamaw’s answer left me speechless, but she kept on, “You are older, son, and you have to kind of give the little one some grace. I will get onto him for not helping you, because I told him to pick up sticks too. I know he does that almost every time I tell you two to work; he sluffs his chores off on you, and I aim to jerk a knot in his behind for that. Now you go play or go fishing, and let me deal with Shady. I got this.”

I was kind of surprised, but I don’t know if it was Mamaw’s answer about Shady, or the fact she was treating me like I was kind of a grownup. I don’t like having to tell on him at all but this time I think it was warranted, no matter what Mamaw thinks. Maybe I am being a Pharisee, or just once I wanted HIM to be the one in trouble, and not me. I am older though; I guess being older means you get in trouble more? I will get it figured out one of these days.

The heck with it, let me see if the fish are biting. Maybe I can play like I am a disciple, heh heh?