It’s Christmastime again, and folks are running around everywhere buying presents for their loved ones kind of crazy this year. Mamaw took us all shopping in the city today; she said she wanted to go to some of the bigger stores in Gulfport. That’s a pretty long drive too, but none of us minded at all. Double Mamaw told us she wanted to look at Christmas on TV, since “all them people out and about, just bumping into one another and hooting and hollering make her nervous.”

Boy, it sure is busy and folks don’t seem happy though. Mamaw made the comment in the car, when we parked in front of that long chain of stores, “Some of these haggard souls are just a-running around like sheep without a shepherd.”

Uncle Muddy went with us, and he just said to us, “Look at ’em in the parking lot just leaving the buggies everywhere, just standing in the lot rolling around. They won’t even put them back in the shopping cart return. That is just ignunt! All the while they all just a-running around like chickens with their head cut off.”

Mamaw nodded her reply, “Yeah, just sitting here in the car, a-waiting on these stressed out wretches to thin out, you’d think they was giving away silver money. Too many people here probably all high on trucker pills! But if you want a good sale, I guess you got to go where the people are.” Now I am sure not everybody is high on trucker pills, but she is convinced of that for some reason. By now, y’all should know how she is.

Uncle Muddy raised his eyebrows and grunted his reply. Mamaw continued with her Christmas crowd comments, “Where the carcass is, the vultures gather; praise God from whom all blessings flow.” Mamaw can make ANY situation sound like the Bible. But we were all too excited to notice. On the way to Gulfport, Uncle Muddy stopped and picked up Jewel to go shopping with us.

She and I were really happy to get to spend time together. We put Shady in between us in the back of the car, and Jewel kept telling him stories about Christmas. I was happy she was being so kind to him, like she always is. I asked her, “Don’t he bother you sometimes? He sure does me?” She looked alarmed and said, “Oh no way! You should have to deal with my brother Robert; he is a pill on a good day! No, Mr. Eduardo Shady is a good kid.”

She nudged shady and said, “Isn’t that right Mr. Eduardo Shady?” He grinned his little Shady grin and told her, “It shore is right Missus Jewel!” He then stuck his tongue out at me and I scrubbed his goofy little head for a minute, in a half-noogie. He always makes sure to show Jewel whatever new little toy, or race car he has. He is a lot younger than us, but he can be a sweet child when he wants to. Especially when he isn’t trying to tattletale on me, or something like that.

Jewel always calls him “Eduardo Shady”, and Eduardo IS his real name; she has that way of making everybody feel special. Shady always answers her back; “Missus Jewel.” I don’t know if he is making eyes at my girl, but I don’t think so. He just likes attention from anybody who will give it, so they have their little names, and it is kind of adorable when you think about it.

We all finally decided it was good to go on inside the big ole department store. The first thing we noticed was the biggest Christmas tree you ever saw, right there at the front entrance. It was about nine feet tall and slam full of decorations. It had so many on it, that it was leaning to one side. Uncle Muddy took one look and said, “I wonder if they know their big ole tree is listing to starboard?”

Shady took a look at it, made a remark on how it was way too big, and said, “That ain’t no Christmas tree; it ain’t got no pine cones on it. Its too skinny too.” Uncle Muddy told him, “Son, that tree just looks skinny, and it does have cones on it. That there is a Douglas fir, and that is just the way it looks.” Shady insisted that it had to have the good pine cones on it, and this was NOT a Christmas tree, “because them pine cones ain’t the good ones.”

He kept saying it over and over; finally I got his hand and half-dragged him over to where the four wheelers and go karts were. Now Shady LOVES anything with an engine on it; those things seem to always fuel his adventures. Uncle Muddy always remarks about Shady, “I guess I have to change oil on that kid, just like I do the cars since he is so motor happy!” But we all get a kick out of it. Uncle Muddy one year even got him his own little mechanic tool set. He crawled under his bike as best he could, and promptly took both tires off. He got them back on too, all by his little self.

One thing Uncle Muddy always tells him, “Boy if you ain’t careful when you out playing, and you don’t get enough water you will lock up that little engine in there. Don’t want to throw a rod, or pull the top of a piston.” Shady just blinks and half-grins, and keeps on running. Uncle Muddy says about him, “That young’un ain’t got but one gear, and that’s overdrive!”

Jewel and I left Shady with Uncle Muddy at the fancy four wheelers, hunting buggies and go karts, and went with Mamaw to take pictures of the tree. It was really pretty; Jewel got out her cell phone and took a bunch of pictures of me, of Mamaw and some selfies with me and her. Mamaw don’t let me have a cell phone, but she didn’t seem to mind Jewel using hers. Mamaw can be real ornery about stuff like that.

All in all we got to each a bunch of food court junk. I had a hamburger and a root beer. Uncle Muddy got himself a bag of popcorn, and Shady ate exactly one hot dog, and his standard lemonade. Jewel shared root beer with me, and we sat down so she could eat her pecan pie slice she got. Mamaw just had herself a diet drink and a cream cheese bagel with a cup of coffee. It was so nice this year, having all of us together there in the food court in that big ole retail store.

We got ready to leave, and Mamaw had three bags full of stuff, and Jewel had four bags of stuff. Uncle Muddy and me helped them carry all of it out to the car. He kept saying stuff like, “What did you two girls buy for Christmas presents, rocks or something? These things are plain killing my back!” They weren’t heavy, Uncle Muddy just likes to keep some fun going on all the time, especially when he is happy.

When we left I went back and checked that tree over really well. Looked like a perfectly good fir tree to me. There was a really short man outside with his elf suit on, ringing the Salvation Army bell. Jewel and I made sure to put a couple of dollar bills in there, and Shady put his little handful of coins in the red kettle. Then he started pretending he was ringing a bell, and we got to hear “Ding ding ding” via Shady all the way to the car.

From me, Double Mamaw, Jewel, Mamaw, Shady and of course Uncle Muddy, Merry Christmas everybody, I mean it! I hope and pray y’all have the best Christmas ever!