Well, it was very interesting in P.E. today. We have Physical Education three days a week, and by now all of us kids have gotten used to Coach Winter’s weird military-style leadership of the class. We have had him for three months, and already we all were doing better not only in P.E., but in class as well. We have started to understand, and even like him, and I think he is growing a little fond of us too, in his own crazy way.

When we came in today for formation and roll call, Coach Winters was his usual cheerful self. He called the roll and made an announcement;

“Team we have a new student in our formation today; his name is Martin LaSera and he will be joining in the festivities. Let’s give him a warm welcome, shall we by sounding off as good as we can!” We all screamed, “Aye sir!”

Coach Winters barked back, “Outstanding! So good I may sob uncontrollably with joy! That is beautiful music to my ears and soul, let me hear it again!”

We all screamed “Aye sir!” even louder this time, and we looked over at Martin, the new kid, his eyes were as big as saucers. I am certain he did NOT expect anything like this at all; from wherever he came from they probably didn’t have a crazy loon like Coach Winters. And we were loving every minute of it.

Coach Winters strutted proudly before us, and said, “Fall at rest.” For us that meant we could keep one foot planted in the formation, and relax our position of attention, which is what the military does I think.

He began his speech, “Today marks a glorious beginning for our new student, who more likely as not has never experienced the beauty and luxury of our outstanding P.E. class! He will need motivation; he will need to stick close to one of you, in order to learn while not slowing our progress. Any volunteers to mentor our new student Martin LaSera, and show him the rules of the road?”

Onion immediately shot up his hand and said “Aye sir! Count on me!”

Coach Winters nodded in approval, “So it is! LaSera! You will be mentored by Onion, who will act as captain, aide and instructor to get you up to speed as to how our team does things. This will serve as an attempt to ease your transition into our illustrious P.E. life, and class dynamics as we see fit! LaSera, when I address you, answer promptly with “Aye Sir.”

Martin mumbled, “Aye sir” like we did the first time on that first day. Before Coach Winters could say anything else, Onion ran immediately to Martin, and told him, “No man, you gotta yell it loud or Coach gets aggravated. Do it like this, “Aye sir!” Onion said, “Now you try it,” but Martin would barely raise his voice, which frustrated Onion.

Coach Winters said, “Good to go, Onion, thanks for the assist, I got this son.” He addressed Martin, “LaSera, Onion just demonstrated the vigor and quickness with which we all sound off when addressed. Seeing that this is your first day, I will let that infraction slide. If you fail to sound off with volume and urgency as instructed after this, you WILL pay the penalty! I do not tolerate insubordination, or mediocrity.” Coach Winters gave that spiel, and turned to the rest of us.

Martin mumbled something derogatory under his breath, which made Coach Winters go off, “What did you just say LaSera? Were you about to sing me a lullaby?! What did I just get through saying about insubordination? Team, what is my hard and fast rule regarding insubordination? Inform our new member please, and square him away, or he will pay the penalty!”

We turned to Martin, and Onion quickly explained the rule, and how Coach told him not to be like that. Martin just shrugged and acted like it was no big deal. “Coach Winters went on, “This is your first day LaSera, pay attention and learn! This will not change; these rules are hard and fast so get with the program or you will pay the penalty!”

Coach Winters then gave his day one speech, just for Martin. It was a little shorter, but there were plenty of statements like “if you don’t do such and such you will pay the penalty.” He gave the nickname rule, even though we all started calling him “Coach Prickly” and he even heard us say that a time or two. He threatened to “run us into the ground until we all dry heave for a month!”, but we heard him chuckling too after he said that, so go figure.

Martin had the same exact face I had when I met Coach Winters; a bit of shock mixed with surprise, anger and a little disgust. Coach Winters must have sensed that Martin might need a little more motivation, because he walked over with his clipboard in front of Martin, after all the shouting and all, then took his ‘equalizer hat’ off, and told Martin, “My hat is off, that means you now have permission to speak freely. If you have gripes, whines, complaints or doubts, let me have it now!”

Martin looked dumbfounded, but said nothing. “Outstanding! No complaints and total compliance, that’s what I like to see!” He put his hat back on and started barking orders, for our usual stretch, pushups, sit-ups run laps, walk it off, cool down routine. Martin was so lost, and I actually felt sorry for him. I was actually shocked Coach Winters did not gobble Martin up for mouthing off under his breath.

When Coach Winters shouted, “Ten minute cool down, pile up!” which meant take a break and get your air and water back, we all went over to Martin and did our best to explain things to him. Martin was overwhelmed, but did not say anything much. He just kept looking at his watch, wondering when it was all going to end, I think.

When Martin left the class, he ran straight for the door, and I mean RAN! We were going to try to talk to him, and let him know to give it a chance and he would see just how nutty – and cool – Coach Winters was. We all got together, about twelve of us after Martin left, and caught Coach Winters before he went back to his office.

“What you got for me men! Speak up, I don’t want any of you late for class, you know the what for and I don’t have time for idle chitchat. Say what’s on your mind!” We all told him we were concerned about Martin, the new kid because he kept acting and looking all funny.

Coach Winters tried to put us at ease, “I find your concern at Mr. LeSera’s well being quite refreshing – shows you are a team; however LaSera comes from somewhere different, and I am quite certain that he has not had P.E. class like this in his life. He will square himself away, this is new kid jitters! Nothing more! Running with Onion and you gents will render him good to go!”

He dismissed us with this statement, “Now you troops get on to class, and don’t dilly dally making eyes at the pretty girls on the way! I got stuff to do that don’t include you, now disappear! Every one of you!” We heard him chuckling a bit when we left the gym, but I wasn’t so sure that Martin would “square himself” away. Little did I know just how right I was at the time.