I just had to get this sent to Uncle Ray to get it published today. Y’all know most religions around here don’t speak in tongues. Mamaw does but she doesn’t “noise it abroad” like some of them folks in the more loose religious circles do. She says “If’n you get a message in another tongue, you best seek wisdom from on High, and be sure there is a holy man or woman of God to interpret them tongues, so you don’t get sideways.”

I am not too sure what she means though; I have seen some of the older big hair church ladies speak in tongues, but those ladies had blue hair and Mamaw don’t. I don’t think you have to have blue hair to speak with other tongues. Me, I just don’t understand it. I think Uncle Ray does so that is why I had him tell y’all this today.

Anyway, me and Shady were at the revival with Mamaw; she likes to go to church every time the doors are open and an interesting thing happened. This was on a Friday night, and folks must’ve ate before they got there. Folks weren’t too lively, but they had what I swear was a rock n roll band. The old folks were raising a few eyebrows but that music was real good, like you hear on the radio. And it wasn’t too loud either; I think folks that liked any kind of music started getting into it real good.

There was this lady who came that nobody knew, and her name was Sally. Ms. Sally was sitting on the front row and started dancing a little and getting happy. Again our little church doesn’t frown on such as that, but they don’t really ever see such as that neither. The pastor who came to preach the revival kind of raised his eyebrows a few times but like I said, the music was good, nobody was sitting there counting nails in the paneling wanting to leave. It was a good sermon and a fairly nice service.

Well this visiting evangelist preached a fine message on the Holy Ghost, right out of Acts 2:4 and that includes a part about the tongues of fire that gave them folks utterances to talk in another language. I thought that was a nice miracle; and I bet them folks acting like they was drunk wasn’t an act in the Bible. I do read the Bible some, and me and Mamaw have discussed this a time or two, and she gets really happy when I talk stuff like this with her. So that is why I do it. But not the only reason. I kind of want to know what it is.

All of a sudden during this Friday night service, one of the old folks in our church stood up perfect like it was timed just right after preacher had a pause, and gave one of them messages in tongues. It felt good, peaceful and you just knowed all them shamma lamma words were telling you something. The pastor himself interpreted it fast, “There are some here today who are broken, lonely and need reassurance from God. The Holy Spirit wants you to know he sees you, and your life isn’t over and He says just call on the name of Jesus.”

That was it, and suddenly people everywhere were crying and going up to the altar for prayer and the sermon wasn’t even through. “This is odd, but nice I thought.” But before I could get lost in my reverie, this Ms Sally woman stood up and gave her own word in tongues. Even I knew it was not from God and I am just about to be a 9th grader. She said something like “halla balla holla hola labuna lagoona shakuna racoona!” She actually stood up and said that whole sentence a few times.

The pastor motioned for the musicians who were playing softly to stop, and while this woman was mid-sentence standing there, he calmly said, “What is your name? Its Sally right, I remember you, please step forward.” She went up to the podium all excited, and he suddenly told her right on the microphone, “Madam that is not of God. Please do not disrupt the service again with false tongues, or I will have to sit you down.” This woman suddenly got mad as fire; turns out she has been following this evangelist around everywhere doing that mess.

She tried to protest and say “But my word is good, I got a message from Heaven…” to which he replied “Madam, that is not from God in any stretch of anything and it does not set well with my spirit, or the Spirit of God.” She sat down abruptly in a huff because she had been doing this every time this man preached somewhere and he was kind of tired of it. Mamaw said it was like that fortune teller woman in the Bible following Paul, Silas, Timothy and Luke around announcing that they were from God.

The church was silent for a bit, then the woman got up in an abrupt huff and left without another word. The pastor resumed speaking, “Folks I am sorry you had to endure that nonsense, but that woman has followed me all over the state where we preach and has done that numerous times.” If I don’t set her down, she will bust up churches. Let me tell you her history. Another pastor set her down like this for doing the same thing, and the church split in half because half agreed with her and half did not. That happened about three months ago, and they just put the church up for sale. She split that church right down the middle.”

Wow! Just wow. I never knowed that someone could do something so small that would destroy a church. We went home happy after that service, me and Shady went up for prayer and it was warm feeling and all nice. All the way home Shady kept saying “laboona shakuna racoona” over and over laughing, and Mamaw kept saying “Stop mawking boy! You sound like a blasphemer.” But she was kind of laughing, kind of mulling it over herself. I don’t think Shady was mocking though, he just repeats everything he hears.

I know that talking about Jesus will either make folks happy or mad, and that His name is powerful. But tongues and trying to find what they mean? That is a whole different ball of wax and I am not too sure on what to think. But him saying that Sally lady busted up the church saying fake tongues in front of everybody? I never heard nothing like that.

Mamaw did tell us when we got home, “If you boys ever get a word from the Lord, y’all come tell Mamaw and we will pray over it together. That is the wise thing to do, bless them Jesus since there is much wisdom in a multitude of counselors. Out of the mouth of two or three witnesses let a thing be established, Glory to the Most High!”

I think it was hilarious Shady was saying “shabuna lacoona racoona.” I really do. Jury is still out on this so I might talk about this again later.