When I last talked to y’all, Mullard Muldoon, my sworn enemy of all time just asked me to help him get a girlfriend. He has the hots for the new girl Pat Elenrud, who just moved to our school, and he came up to me and asked me to set him up with her. I told him I would try, but I also added a few things like his grooming, his habits and his tendency to bully people. And I told him he smelled bad, all the time, which is sorta kinda true.

At second break, I talked with Jewel about it. After she finished laughing her head off at what I told Mullard, I asked, “So how do we help Mullard get a date with this girl? That girl won’t even talk to anybody, or have anything to do with us?” Jewel replied, “Oh I can get her to talk to us, you leave that part to me. When time comes to actually set her up with Mullard, I will let you bring it up to her. Everything after that is “come what may.””

Jewel had a plan. She said she would try to invite her over, with a bunch of other girls for a sleepover. If that didn’t work, she would try hard to befriend her, but since the girl doesn’t seem to want any of us around her, it might prove to be kind of difficult. But I had to try, and she had to try, because the one word Jewel doesn’t know is NO! I don’t mean in a stubborn kind of mean way; I mean she loves a challenge, and will do her best to try to make whatever she aims for work.

Jewel went on to say that everybody has something that they just love. Like me, I just love fishing. Jewel just loves artwork, and paintings and museums and such. She said, “Find that person’s favorite thing and capitalize on that. Not being a manipulator, but play to that favorite thing, and you will get what you want.” She continued, “Like me, you KNOW if you tell me we are going to an art museum, I am already ready to go, all the time.”

“She runs track, so maybe she will get to be friends with one of the track girls?” I asked Jewel that thinking we may be able to get an angle on that. “I have several close friends on the girl’s track team, and more than a few acquaintances.” She told me, “One or two of those girls owe me a favor too.” She grinned and said, “I cannot believe we are actually HELPING Mullard Muldoon. It’s crazy, but I guess we have it to do now.”

Jewel did her magic that week, and I don’t know how she did it, but there that new girl Pat was, eating lunch with all of us, come Monday, and not saying much. But she joined us; Jewel told me later all she had to do was figure out that the new girl loved horses. So Jewel, who likes horses a bit, got her hooked up with another one of our friends who actually has a horse ranch, that her father runs. The new girl likes horses, and Jewel arranged for her to visit and ride any one she wanted.

Taking care of business, that’s my Jewel. So next steps; how do we get her to give Mullard the time of day? He did show up with a haircut, and new clothes, but he is still a hot mess, and still bobbing his head like an idiot. By the way, he only does that bobbing thing everytime someone says something funny, or when he is happy.

(He actually looked like a miniature Texas oilman, cowboy hat, cowboy boots, belt buckle, jeans and all! I caught him and explained, “That is a bit much, maybe tone it down to slacks and lose the hat.” Mullard frowned, and looked unhappy; I will let him think it over for awhile. Cowboy Bob ain’t exactly what I had in mind.)

It may just be a habit, but him makes him look ignorant. Come to think of it, I have never seen him do it, until he got happy about that girl. I have never seen anybody do that quite like he does. I guess all that excitement just has to go somewhere, and with Mullard it must go out of his neck and has to move back and forth.

I gave him an update, and he was so excited he bobbled harder. I got onto him, telling him, “Quit that infernal bobbing boy! You acting like you at a concert or something.” Mullard grinned, he keeps doing that stupid grin, and it kinda gives me the willies. “Sorry Pete, I lost myself there a second.” For sure I may have to work on his social etiquette before we even dream of setting him up with that girl.

Now the next thing may be to see if he knows how to ride a horse, heh heh. I bet he don’t.