Me, Stinky, Jasper and Tank were walking back from the lunchroom, arguing about who could catch the biggest fish. And that title goes to me, of course because I can outfish every single one of them. We were all in a group in the hall, and I had just walked Jewel to her class. Everywhere we go now, there is me and the boys, and Jewel and her girls walking neatly two by two in the hall.

We had just dropped her off at her class, and we all turned the corner to the other hall, which is mostly empty after lunch, except our class and maybe a few others. Who did we run into but Mullard Muldoon. Rebel was not with him this time, but Mullard decided he was going to be froggy anyway, and get in my face. He was for sure laying for us, I could see it in his beady little eyes.

“Well if it ain’t Sweetie Petie Hegelynie with his crew of dummys headed to Dumb Land. Wait, Tank you need to be headed to the special class, right? Or did they put you in with these morons just to get rid of you?” Mullard kept picking on us, seeing what we would do, but before I could say anything smart aleck, Jasper spoke, “Mullard, what is wrong with you man? You can’t take a hint, or a suggestion or anything dude. Leave Pete alone, he hasn’t done a single thing to you.”

Mullard snarkily replied, “Oh yeah! He done stole my girl, and I told him that was my girl, and now I gotta do something about it.” Mullard was obviously mad; too mad I was thinking, man I don’t think this was going to end up good for any of us. Jasper went on, “Well don’t you be trying nothing, or you are going to get it for sure!”

Before Jasper could finish his sentence, Mullard hissed, “I ain’t afraid of you Jasper! And I ain’t afraid of none of you other idiots neither.” Just then I saw Mullard’s hand move, he was clenching his fist and aiming it right at me. “Here it comes, my busted lip.” I thought that as I watched him start to swing at me wild with his right, like a big haymaker you see on TV.

Just then, quicker than lightning Tank stepped in and caught Mullard’s hand mid-swing with his own left, a perfect right block!. He said softly, “I don’t believe you oughta be trying no junk Mullard. You try that again and I am going to do something to you.” Tank’s voice never got loud, he just stood there, gripping Mullard’s arm. But Mullard would not quit, “Get away from me you giant fat Bigfoot mongoloid! You better keep this short bus reject on a leash Hegelynie, or he might get his big fat butt hurt!”

Mullard snatched his hand away, and stepped to the side, “I am going to whomp on you Hegelynie, if its the last thing I ever do!” He swung a wild haymaker at me again, but missed, because I was ready and ducked. Suddenly Tank hit Mullard so hard with a right hook, slam in the gut! I swear I felt the ground shake when Tank punched ol’ Mullard right in the solar plexus. All we could hear out of Mullard was, “Ung, Ung, Ung.”

Mullard was knocked back about three feet, and slammed into the wall with his back, from the impact. Tank was on him lightning-style, but didn’t hit him again. Tank just grabbed him and said, “Easy now Muldoon. You started this, and I ain’t fixing to kill YOU, but you ain’t gonna beat us up today. Don’t conk your head or nothin’ on that wall.”

Tank gently laid Mullard in a sit down position up against the wall, and then I looked up and remembered the cameras. All of us just stood there, staring at groaning Mullard, waiting for the principal and the school security man to show up. Sure enough, there they were, exactly thirty seconds too late. Mullard could not speak, all he could do was groan. Tank had knocked his wind slam out of him. He wasn’t feeling good at all!

The principal showed up hopping mad, “I saw – and heard – all this on the cameras in this hall! Why are you boys even out of class? Class started five minutes ago! We all told him what had happened, and how Tank had tried to tell Mullard to leave us alone. Tank just kept saying, “I am sorry Mr. Morgan, but he was going to beat us all up. He said he would whomp on Pete if it was the last thing he ever did. I didn’t mean to sock his gut so hard, I swear!.

The principal turned to Mullard, “Muldoon, I told you about instigating your ignorance with that Hegelund kid! Hells bells boy, I swear to God you have rocks in your head, and dirt stopping up your ears! As soon as you catch your wind back, you report immediately to my office! I will deal with you there. Pronto!” Mullard nodded his head, still making that “ungh” sound, and we were trying so hard not to laugh.

“You boys go back to class, and we will deal with y’all later while we try to sort all this mess out!” The principal barked that command at us like he was a drill sergeant, and we all hurried back to class, leaving Mullard to catch his wind. Meanwhile the security officer got him a drink of water, and tried to help him up. He just kept saying, “Ungh. Ungh.” The principal stomped off muttering to himself, “That big boy should have knocked his d— head off! I am sick of this mess, plum sick of it!”

Tank kept asking, “Oh man, Pete, don’t let me be in trouble. I just didn’t want Mullard to beat up all of my friends.” He was crying a little by that point, and I walked him to class and stood outside the door, trying to calm him down. I assured him the principal would get to the bottom of it, since he had the cameras, and each one had a microphone that picked up everything, and recorded it all. That made him feel better, but he was still upset. Trying to calm down that big ole Tank is a major undertaking, I declare!

To make a long story short, we all had to go talk to the principal, and tell our side. Mullard did not go home, but he didn’t look too pleased from that gut punch Tank gave him. I was secretly happy Tank did it that way. Wasn’t a mark on Mullard, but he was not getting around too good after that the rest of the school day. He wasn’t there the next either, so either he got expelled, or he was still suffering from “Tank-itis.”

I also reminded myself, while I was telling all this to Jewel, to never ever make Tank mad for any reason. I swear I didn’t know Tank could move that fast! Thanks Tank, you got my back brother. I got yours, for what its worth.