Y’all know we ain’t allowed to watch no TV, and the only one at our house that even has a TV is Uncle Muddy. He has it out in his radio shack, his “multipurpose building” is what he calls it most times. He even has cable, and sometimes he lets us sneak and watch shows about superheroes and stuff, but only if we fetch him a beer, and stay quiet. Mamaw plays like she don’t know what he is doing, but she never says anything.

Anyway, she surprised all of us today after church, and just the family was sitting around the dinner table. Mr. Grover Sessuls had just left after sitting for exactly one hour after the food was finished, like he does every Sunday. Mamaw made a grand announcement right there at the table. “Y’all, as y’all know me and the Good Lord talks a lot.” she said. We all nodded in agreement, except Double Mamaw who had fallen asleep at the table, after eating as she sometimes does.

Mamaw continued her speech, “I called on the Lord many times last week, as I felt him leading me to do something that is very humbling, trite and definitely against the very nature of what I stand for. He spoke to my heart, and flung a heavenly conviction right at me, one so grand as that I felt heaven held silence at my behest, for the space of nearly an hour.”

Uncle Muddy yelled, “Oh for crying out loud Charlene, spit it out! Say what’s on your mind and quit running rabbits into the stickers. What has God wrought now?!” Mamaw answered Uncle Muddy sharply, “Hiram Eustace, I will advise you hold your tongue until I have said my piece! I let you say your’n, now be quiet while I share my full heart with you, and the rest of my precious family!”

Double Mamaw looked up and commented, “What I done told you two about all that persnickety back-n-forth childish nonsense?! Don’t make me get a granny limb, and remind y’all of who is in charge ’round here. I will do it too! Mark my words…”

Mamaw said, “Thank you mother. Getting on with my word of knowlege here, I believe the Good Lord has shown me it is His good pleasure and providence, that we should get us a television, so the kids don’t grow up under a rock, like wild men from Borneo, unlearned like unwashed heatherns often are. I can’t keep them shielded from the cruel world forever; perhaps I should be a little less strict with them, when it comes to watching a wholesome show now and again.”

Me and Shady immediately yelled, “Awesome!” Shady actually got up from the table and pretended to go where the (imaginary) tv would be, and started shooting his cowboy gun, and playing cops and robbers all at the same time. “Settle that mess down boy!” Mamaw warned. “It ain’t here yet; I am to get it for Christmas, with the help of your Uncle Muddy, and mother, if they would chip in. Your uncle will have to install it, and seeing how its almost Christmas, it could be all of our Christmas present!”

Double Mamaw looked up from her half-nap and said, “Why Charlene, you do have some heart and soul left in that frame of yours. Maybe now I can look at my stories, and keep up with this doctor so and so, and that lady or what have you. I used to listen to “Guiding Light” on the radio, back in my day, and I used to look at it at the Senior Center when I was able to go a few years back. I might like me some Guiding Light, or something or other like it.”

Uncle Muddy looked happy, shocked and pleased all at the same time. “Well Charlene, I guess that God of yours ain’t all thunderbolts and lightning at once like you make him out to be?” Mamaw snapped, “I ain’t never said no such of thing Hiram Eustace and you know that! Jesus please forgive my liquor addled, life bedraggled, half-wit brother for being so irreverent, and mocking Thy Holy Name!,” Mamaw half-prayed, half-wished this on behalf of her brother.

“Well its about time something positive happened around here, it shore is.” Uncle Muddy commented, and went on to say, “I got the cable out to my building, and we can bring it up to the house, and I can split it off to my building. I don’t watch nothing but old DVD’s of westerns nohow, and I don’t even use that old cable, and not even sure why I even still pay for it. But them boys could use a good fresh western now and then, and we can all watch the local news when there is storms a-brewing, and I don’t have to run out to the shack every time to see who is beating who at football!”

Mamaw said, “Its settled. Hiram Eustace, why don’t you and the boys go pick us out a big one for Christmas before the store closes, y’all can even go right now if you want to. I hear tell they are having a sale at the store, and me and mother can send our ‘chip in’ money, and we will all get it for the boys for Christmas. Seeing how it is so close, I bet you can have the cable, and maybe even some rabbit ears put in just before Santa Claus gets here!.”

Man, sometimes Mamaw gets a good word from God, and I like this one a lot! Now I don’t have to keep explaining to everybody why we don’t have a TV, and I sure like watching Westerns with Jasper and his daddy. Now we can BOTH see Westerns on our own, and have even more to talk about. Maybe Jewel will want to come and watch movies with us! Thank you God.